Déjà vu
by WaitingForTheStars
Summary: Just when Kairi thinks that she's finally moved on with her life, Riku tells her a secret that will make have to relive everything all over again


Disclaimer:  
  
Loki- Again Chad, you're my number one disclaimer!  
  
Chad- Loki doesn't own KH! Nor does she own KH! Wait. I'm repeating again, aren't I? Yeah, Loki owns me and I am the one who is owned by Loki, now read the scukkin story already? What's stalling you!?!  
  
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Three years. There was just something about those two words that made it difficult to breath. I shifted uncomfortably on my feet as I stood, looking over the ocean. The sun was just beginning to sink in the sky, slowly bleeding into the sea. I bit my bottom lip in attempt to keep the tears away. But it was difficult. The light breeze whipped the long strands of red hair across my shoulders, sweeping my bangs out of my face. I could feel Riku's presence behind me. I pretended I didn't notice him; he liked surprising me. I enjoyed seeing him smile, because it's rare to see these days. I closed my eyes and sighed. I turned around and gasped, jumping back a few feet. I didn't know why, I knew that he'd be there. Riku smiled and stepped closer to me. I drew a smile to and wrapped my arms around him. Lately, I've noticed, he seems to like hugging me.  
"I'm sorry that I scared you," I heard him say softly. Yeah right. I sighed,  
"That's alright," I knew you were there anyway. We gently pulled away from each other and stood in silence. The silence between us wasn't difficult anymore. Some times it was okay that he didn't say much of anything. I tended to like these moments, when he was around me. He seemed to have a sweet, protective side as well. He wrapped one strong arm around my shoulder and began to walk me home. This wasn't really necessary; I was perfectly capable of walking myself home.  
I remembered when Riku wasn't here. It had been nearly two years since he had come home. I remember that day.  
  
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.I woke up to another empty sunrise. Everything was perfect, everything except for two things. Sora. Riku. I looked out my window. Wakka was chasing Selphie down as Tidus struggled to keep up. Tidus was always kind of slow. I smiled in spite of myself and dressed for the day. I had only been up for a half-hour when Selphie sprung herself over to my house and asked if I wanted to go shopping. My clothes were fine; I didn't need her little adjustments. I said no and watched as she walked away in disappointment. I sighed and went to the beach, taking my little rowboat to the small island.  
By this time, I was around sixteen, and was slowly adjusting to my two best friends' absence. I collectively walked over to the edged of the beach were the water gently kissed the tips of my toes. The ocean was warm, bathed in sunlight. Days like these reminded me of when all three of us lived in wonder, in mystery. It was funny, how we always imagined seeing other worlds, and now that we have, we just want to go home. None of us were home; Sora and Riku were out there somewhere, obviously not at home. As long as Sora was gone, I wasn't home either. For home is where the heart is, right? And my heart was eternally bounded with him. I let out a sad sigh and began to head back to my house. I decided that I should go find Selphie and apologize for being kind of rude to her this morning. I began to walk back to my rowboat, when I felt something straining at my shoulder and I quickly threw myself around. I gasped at the sight. It was Riku. He effortlessly fell into my arms. He looked hurt, and exhausted. His eyes shut so tightly it looked painful.  
"Riku, how. what's happened to you?" I question, I can't move, he's putting his full weight into my arms.  
"Help. me," his voice is full of pain, I can't bear to see him like this. I slowly set him down on the sandy surface of the beach and gently stroked some silvery strands of hair out of his dirty, bleeding face. I rise to my feet and start calling out Wakka's name. He and Tidus were practicing killing each other on the other side of the island. I scream desperately as tears begin to come to my eyes. Why am I crying? I hear the sound of someone running and I turn myself around to see Wakka running quickly over to me. I can tell he sees that I am sobbing and he looks worried.  
"What is it Kairi?" I hear him shout when he is no more than five feet away.  
"He's hurt Wakka, I didn't know what." Wakka hushed me and knelt down beside Riku as I followed. Tidus joined us after a few minutes.  
"How long has he been here?" Wakka questioned in that foreign accent of his. I couldn't manage to speak; I was in too much shock. I shook my head trying to indicate that I didn't know. Wakka took Riku's arms and tried to pull him up. Somewhere along the events of the last two years, Riku had grown taller than, the originally taller, Wakka. I helped as we led Riku to the boat and then to my house where he spent the rest of the day sleeping in my bed. Wakka and Tidus left; there was nothing else that they could do. I sat watching him for the whole day. His breathing got better. His face was still in pain. His eyebrows drawn up in a frustrated position. He had been lying there for nearly seven hours, without the slightest sign of consciousness. Through those seven hours, I thought about nothing else but how he managed to get here, where he was, what he was doing. But there was just one thought that kept pending in the back of my mind, the single question that slowly drove me closer to insanity a little more each day. Where was Sora? I hunched over and rested my arms on my bed, gently succumbing to sleep. I laid my head down on my arms and almost instantly fell into a dreamless trance. I don't remember anything after falling asleep, except that I awoke to the sound of screaming. I slowly blinked my eyes open, trying to adjust to the darkness. I quickly sat up as I noticed Riku sitting up. His face was drenched in sweat, or tears. could have been both. I cracked my back, the sound making me cringe and causing him to turn quickly in my direction. He looked deeply confused, and perhaps a little afraid. His eyes shine in the dark, staring at my face as if he didn't recognize me. I slowly stood up and tried to get closer to his trembling body, but he winced. I stopped moving.  
"What's wrong Riku?" I questioned, unaware of what else to say. He just stared at me. He was probably trying to recall something.  
"Nothing," he replied blankly. I could tell that he was struggling to breath again. I sat down next to him and took his hand. He wrapped his fingers around mine so tightly I felt that he might cut off my circulation. Sometimes he doesn't seem to notice his own strength. He tries to avoid my gaze as I stare longingly into his eyes, the eyes I live for. I opened my mouth to speak again, but he cut me off.  
"I don't want to. talk about it." Said Riku through gritted teeth. I could tell that he was still exhausted. His eyelids looked heavy as they slumped lazily over his aquamarine eyes. I smiled lightly.  
"You should go back to sleep." I said as I gently let go of his hand. He nodded and hesitantly lay back down. I fell back to my chair and stared at him.  
"Can you do me a favor Kairi?" he questioned as he closed his eyes lighter this time.  
"Anything," I respond in a subtle tone.  
"Stay with me," he said tiredly as he let out a faint yawn. I smiled.  
"Of course I will." I swore I saw the faintest smile fall upon his lips, but it was too dark to tell for sure.  
  
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.From then on, I never forgot what I said. I stayed with him through everything. Barely leaving his side once in the past two years. We never talked about the Kingdom Hearts incident. He would refuse to respond every time I tried. We never talked about me being a princess, or what had happened to him. We never discussed other worlds, nor did he ever mention anything about how he got back. And never once did either of us bring up Sora. It was eating away at me. I just couldn't seem to build up the courage to ask, and I don't know why. It should have been easy, right?  
"What are you thinking about?" Riku questioned, pulling me back to reality.  
"Nothing," I lied. I couldn't tell him, my thoughts are private. Riku sighed, knowing that I didn't want to share what was going on in my mind. He nodded, letting me know that he understood. I couldn't help but feel bad; I know that he likes to know what I'm thinking about. We carried on in silence for a little bit. I suddenly felt something creep up my throat and I bit my lower lip hard. Something was wrong with me, why do I find the sudden urge to burst out in tears? I couldn't help it, a small sob escaped from my lips and Riku stared down at me.  
"What's wrong?" he questioned in a surprised tone. I shook my head, I knew why I was crying, I had been thinking about Sora again. Riku sighed. I leaned closer into him, bringing my steps into unison with his. It always made me wonder, how our bodies seemed to fit together perfectly. It was almost like he completed me, or something, like a puzzle. I don't know.  
"I'm sorry Riku," I said, I could feel Riku tense up as he held me closer. We reached my house and he walked me in, to my couch. I sat down and he sat next to me. The lighting in this room didn't exactly please me, it was kind of dim. I held his hand, gripping it so tightly that my fingers almost fell off. Of course, it didn't affect Riku at all. He has a very high level of pain tolerance. "Three years," I say under my breath, not meaning to say it aloud. I instantly drew my hand up to mouth to try and stop myself from saying anymore.  
"Huh?" Riku questioned. Oh, maybe he didn't hear me. I couldn't lie to him anymore; I could feel the ball in my throat expand. It hurt like hell, I couldn't breath.  
"Don't cry anymore Kairi, I can't stand it when you're sad." Said Riku pulling Kairi closer to him. My sobs only worsened as my head fell onto his shoulder. He gently began rocking us back and forth.  
"I'm sorry," is all I can manage to say through the tears. Riku closed his eyes and stopped moving. I knew, somehow, that we were both thinking about the same thing. He hated that word, 'sorry'; I guess he felt that there is never a need to say sorry to him, because it's never my fault in his mind, apparently. "Do you miss him?" I question, not meaning to say that aloud either. My eyes go wide, and I pull away. Instantly I know that my question was a mistake. He stares at me, angry? I can't tell, this is a new one. I half wait for a response.  
"I." something is telling me that he is trying with his life to hold back tears. I can't believe this; I have never seen him cry before, ever. I was shocked. I don't know what else to do so I wrap my arms around him. I can feel him sobbing uncontrollably. I felt him pull away and I let him go. He whipped the tears from his eyes, he looked almost embarrassed.  
"I'm sorry I brought it up. I." I stopped; there weren't words for this moment.  
"Kairi." he questioned, turning to me. I looked into his eyes, the eyes that held the world, the eyes that owned me. "There's something. That I should have told you two years ago."  
  
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Ha ha! I finish now! I promise to write chapter two in a little bit. maybe. Don't get too upset, I'm working on a lot right now. My 'high school' story is my first priority, it's really getting good. Please read my other fics, they really aren't that bad. I need some more reviewers, so please R&R! Thanx, ~Loki ^_^ 


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